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by Peter Moskos

June 28, 2008

Officer Pete says (rule 1):

Always keep your hands where I can see them.

[All the rules of "Officer Pete says" can be seen here. Got any to add? Please do so in a comment!]


Dave Hummels said...

Ok, here's a few ideas:

1. If I didn't have "that badge," you still wouldn't do shit, because you're all talk.
*Derivative: The more you talk, the harder you ain't.
*Related: Idle threats don't amuse me, but I will include them in my report.

2. Most folks don't handle emergencies very well. Some don't handle them at all. That's probably why they pay me to do this job.

3. Please don't take your aggression out on me. I didn't shoot your loved one. By the way, do you know who did that?

4. Please don't tell your misbehaving two year old that I'm going to arrest them if they aren't good. That kind of hurts.

PCM said...

Those are gems, Dave. Gems.

lizkdc said...

Here's one for your rule set, CITH.

It's sad to me because it's my town. It's horrible for the family, but it's also certainly a nightmare for the police involved. Otherwise decent guy gets himself picked up for drunk and disorderly during post-sports victory mob. Passes out and dies while cuffed.

Family and buddies:
a) the police caused this by arresting him
b) "he was drinking, but he wasn't drunk."

Ok, people.

If you are walking down a city street with an open container of alcohol, after emerging from a bar, and talking smack to police officers standing around, you certainly give every appearance of being drunk, ok?

Do you need a special rule?

Rule 1: Don't be a drunk *asshole in public, it's dangerous to others and yourself. And illegal.

Rule 2: Please don't *impersonate* being a drunk *sshole, because that will get you the same result.

PCM said...

I don't think the police did anything wrong here. At least they didn't Taser him.

I have my own rule I like to apply to others (often drivers): it's OK to be wrong and it's even OK to be an asshole. But it's not OK to be wrong and then be an asshole about it.