Why? Because Bruce said he tried to rob him. He didn't. He's a priest.
Why? Because the man yelled "Allahu Akbar." He didn't. He's a priest.
Why? Because the man grabbed Bruce's crotch and made sexual advances in perfect English. He didn't. [But feel free to insert priest joke here... they make the same jokes in Greece.]
The priest was lost.
The marine is an idiot and should be jailed. But the priest is forgiving.
Here's the story in the St. Petersburg Times by Alexandra Zayas and Demorris Lee:
A Greek Orthodox priest named Father Alexios Marakis, speaks little English and was lost, police said. He wanted directions.Dude, do you really think a terrorist just walked down the street and happened to pick on you, the one patriotic American ready to defend himself and his country by beating a man of God with a tire iron?
What the priest got instead, police say, was a tire iron to the head. Then he was chased for three blocks and pinned to the ground — as the Marine kept a 911 operator on the phone, saying he had captured a terrorist.
Bruce is a sales manager for APS Pharmacy in Palm Harbor. His blog entries tout the benefits of increasing testosterone and human growth hormones. He was charged with misdemeanor battery in 2007...What a f*cking idiot. It's sh*t like this that makes me a little more sympathetic to the Flying Imams.
Online photo galleries depict him flexing big muscles wearing little clothing.
An exterior surveillance video of Tuesday's chase captured the two men in motion, said Tampa Police Department spokeswoman Laura McElroy:
"You see a very short, small man running, and an enormous, large muscular man chasing after him."
Here's Bruce's mugshot:
And also reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. It ends like this: "For you it's a tragedy. For me it's a mistake!"
Update: In the case of the marine reservist who attached a priest for looking like a Muslim terrorist, all charges were dropped. The priest didn't stick around America to press charges. To rehash, this idiot chased a Greek priest for three blocks and beat him with a tire iron while telling a 911 operator (listen to the call here):
I got a guy who's trying to mug me. … He just grabbed my f------ b---- when I got out of my car. … I just hit him with a tire iron and he's trying to take off. He said he was going to f------ kill me. … This guy's not gonna come back. I wanna knock him out.So let me get this straight. This priest, who says he was lost, looked like he was from Afghanistan, tried to rob the idiot, then grabbed his balls, and then yelled "Allahu Akbar."
He looks like a Middle Eastern guy, a Taliban guy. … He straight up looks like he came from Afghanistan … knows where I live and knows what I drive and I'm not letting him come back. I'll kill him. I got a wife.
The prosecuting lawyer called this 'roid rage noting the attacker is "a 220-pound pharmacy manager who blogs photos of himself flexing his muscles and had worked as a drug informant for police."
The attacker, after charges were dropped, says he forgives the priest. Gee, that's mighty Christian of him.
Here's a picture of the attacker.
He's not gay at all.