Why it's that time of year again... you know, the time of year when I tell you to buy my book. It is a quick and easy present. Cop in the Hood, available from Amazon.com. And for all you cheapskate cops, it's less than $15. Just lock up one looser and you'll make more than that in overtime.
And if you don't want to give a police book for Christmas--or maybe last year you already did--I've got another book you should buy: a cookbook. And I just happen to know just the book: Forking Fantastic (it was supposed to be called F*cking Delicious, and probably would have sold better had it been). And nothing says "Christmas love" like a cookbook with lots of swear words. Of course I'm biased (one of the authors is my wife), but they are damn good cooks. Plus you can see a picture of me holding an entire lamb on a spit and also follow my very own ceasar salad recipe (which just happens to be f*cking delicious).
Plus Forking Fantastic is less than $8 on Amazon. Better yet, the cover price is $20, so you're friends will never know just how cheap you really are.