Officer Pete says (rule 1):

Always keep your hands where I can see them.

[All the rules of "Officer Pete says" can be seen here. Got any to add? Please do so in a comment!]

Officer Pete says (rule 2):

Please sit still when I ask you to.

Officer Pete says (rule 3):

Please don’t make me nervous or scared. That’s how people end up getting hurt.

Officer Pete says (rule 4):

If you don’t want the police in your house, don’t call the police. I don’t want to be in your house either.

Officer Pete says (rule 5):

When I ask you where you live, give me a proper address with a street and a number. Don’t just say, "around the corner."

Officer Pete says (holiday special):

In the hood, ain't no holiday like Father's Day!

Officer Pete says (rule 6):

Please tell me the whole story.

Officer Pete says (rule 7):

The more you tell me of the other person’s side of the story, the more I’ll believe your side of the story.

Officer Pete says (rule 8):

Don’t be surprised when I think you’re lying, most likely you are. If you must lie, at least make it convincing. If you’re not convincing, at least be entertaining. If you are neither entertaining or convincing or telling the truth, it is best to say nothing at all.

Officer Pete says (rule 9):

Don’t worry if you’re crazy or stupid, being crazy or stupid isn’t a crime.

Officer Pete says (rule 10):

Remember to tell me if you have anything sharp on you before I pat you down.

Officer Pete says (rule 11):

Even if you don’t mean it as an insult, please don’t call me "shorty," "brother," "boo," or "dog."

Officer Pete says (rule 12):

Don’t piss off police, some of us are assholes.

Officer Pete says (rule 13):

Don’t be surprised when we arrest someone, there really isn’t much else we can do.

Officer Pete says (rule 14):

It doesn’t matter if you’re right. Nobody will believe you if you’re in jail.

Officer Pete says (rule 15):

If you’re going to get arrested, try and wear warm clothes. It’s cold in jail. And no, you can’t bring your cigarettes.

Officer Pete says (rule 16):

I know he says he loves you, but he says that to all his girlfriends.

Officer Pete says (rule 17):

I know she says she loves you, but you have a job and a paycheck.

Officer Pete says (rule 18):

Don’t believe he’s innocent just because you’re related.

Officer Pete says (rule 19):

I don’t stop people because they’re black. Everyone I stop is black because there are no white people where I work.